Worth Writing Home About

A good friend of mine wrote to me last week about how he had finally reached a stage in his career where he feels accomplished. He has, to some extent at least, mastered his craft. Before I closed the email, I marveled for a moment at the awesomeness of being able to say that you’ve mastered your craft. As I returned to work on the images for this month’s column I thought, “yeah … same!”

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This Month’s Column:

Today I came to understand the phrase “not worth writing home about”. Don’t get me wrong, I use the phrase a lot, and I’ve always understood it in theory, but today, I’ve come to understand it in practice. Today I see that it suggests that one wouldn’t, or shouldn’t, bother lifting a pen to send word of occurrences, because they’re completely insignificant:

 

Dear Mum and Dad,

I stared for a long time at my teacup today, trying to think associatively about the joy of drinking tea and wondering if I could stretch that half-thought out into 600 to 1000 words for my column. I guessed that I couldn’t. I also decided that having Hello Kitty on my mug was not the “added dimension to my personality” that I had hoped it would be when I bought it.

After the cup-staring I decided to a leave message on my own voicemail saying “Hi, it’s me, just wanted to thank you for that excellent thing we did – boy oh boy is THAT going to make a good story!” … I was hoping that when I got the message I could be tricked into remembering some funny and excellent story about something I did. It didn’t work. It just made me realise that my voice is much higher and more lisp-y than I thought it was. Do I have a speech impediment that you’ve hidden from me for 30 years?

The obsession over my speech pathology left me exhausted, so I needed to take a nap after the voicemail incident. Naps are great. I dreamed about rubber nipples and being chased by banality. I wondered if I could turn the nipples into a column. What do you think?

Please send money, ideas, and some instructions on how to be a real writer.

Lots of Love,
Georgie

 

Dear Georgie,

Please stop writing. You’ve bored your Mother into a coma.

Lots of Love,
Dad

 

Dear Dad,

Do you think I could write a column about a coma? I could beef it up with pictures if the story ran short.

Lots of Love,
Georgie

 

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Comments

3 Responses to “Worth Writing Home About”
  1. avatar krazy_kate says:

    Rubber nipples? I wonder what the dream interpreters would say abut that.

  2. avatar Vikookie says:

    You were always a good drawer Georgie. I still have many examples of excellent portraits of your family that you did when younger. All of us were younger and many of us were asleep in the pictures.
    Keep working on the drawing Georgie. You have a future as an artist as well as a writer. Don’t let anyone tell you different sweetie.

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